Last Updated on May 29, 2021 by Holly Anne Dustin
Help my cat hates my kids! I’m pregnant and my mom (or doctor or best friend) says I have to get rid of my cats. Are kittens safe with babies? Can kids and cats live together safely?
There are many benefits to living with cats. Cats can teach children empathy and patience. Kids learn to care for other while taking care of their pets. Cats give kids someone to pour their heart out too. A feline friend is a source of support and calm. Children with cats are less likely to develop allergies and less likely to get sick.
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Consider your family before you adopt.
If you are pregnant, or just had a baby, it makes sense to wait to get a new pet. It might not be the right time to add a cat to your family if your children are extra loud, active, or aggressive.
However, if you have the time and can give a cat an enriched, safe environment where she is respected as a cat, then she will respond with confidence and trust. The relationship between a kid and his childhood cat is something special. It just takes a little work on the parents’ part to make sure it gets off to a good start.
Are Cats Dangerous with Babies?
It is a myth that cats “steal babies breath”. They will not intentionally harm a baby. The warmth of a baby attracts them. A cat curling up to a newborn that can’t roll out of the way could cause an accident. Cats should not sleep in the baby’s crib.
Introducing a new kitten and a new baby into the home at the same time is not ideal. But you don’t need to plan to re-home your resident cat just because you bring a human baby into the picture. Planning and preparation will help her adjust.
Cats like routine and consistency.
Her new human sibling’s arrival will be as much a change for your cat as it is for you! Keep her routine as normal as possible. Make any necessary changes to your life before the baby comes home. If the baby’s room is off limits to Kitty, then close the door now. If her feeding schedule will be different then adapt it now. You could add puzzle toys or a timed feeder to help.
Get your cat used to baby sounds and smells.
Look for baby videos online and play them when you are snuggling with your cat. Expose them to any sound or motion toys like mobiles or music boxes or swings. Wear lotion and powder that smells like baby. Bring home something from the hospital so Kitty can get used to the baby’s scent before you bring him home.
Don’t spoil her in advance.
Don’t lavish excess attention on the cat before the baby comes home. Kitty will get used to it and it will be worse when the baby takes the spotlight. Kitty will still need one-on-one play time and snuggles, don’t just push the cat out for the baby.
It can take a month or longer for your kitty to adjust but almost all cats do, in fact, adapt.
Are Cats and Toddlers Safe?
Things rarely get too rough until baby gets mobile. The kitty looks like a great playmate, or a toy. They don’t intend to be mean but they are unpredictable, grabby, loud, and scary to the cat. It is necessary to teach little kids how to play with their feline friend. Keep your cat’s claws trimmed to prevent rough play from getting out of hand.
Toddlers don’t understand what nice or gentle mean. Have your little one sit with you when the cat is happy, put your hand over hers and show her exactly what gently petting their cat looks and feels like. Tell her where and where not to touch. Teach her how to put out one finger and let the cat sniff it to tell the child if petting is okay. Don’t let a child grab a cat.
Give your cats places to go to get away from the kids.
You can put up tall cat trees, cat shelves, baby gates with cat doors to keep the cat safe from the little kid enthusiasm. Put the litter box and Kitty’s food and water in the kid free zone. Don’t use a covered litter box. It won’t keep the kid out and it will make the cat feel trapped and vulnerable.
Teach children how to respect their kitty.
Model appropriate communication from the beginning. Children will pick up cues to proper handling from your actions and be able to put it into practice as they grow. It is like teaching table manners or how to share with other children.
The American Humane Society recommends that kids under 5 years old not have kittens. It is better to have a 2-3-year-old cat. Kittens are fragile. They will also be quicker to respond. Kittens are tough customers when they play together. They learn that claws and teeth hurt from their mother and their siblings. They play the same with their humans.
If your cat is prone to petting induced aggression, don’t risk an incident happening. Toddlers can’t read the cat’s body language so don’t allow the child to interact with the cat unless you are right there supervising.
Young Kids and Cats
If you are adopting your first cat, teach your kids the same way as you would a younger child teaching them how to handle their furry friend. Talk about how Kitty will need patience and understanding to feel at home at her new house.
With kids in this age group you can start them off right by teaching them about cat body language and communication. Teach them to respect the cat as a being. Explain how not to force themselves on the cat but let the cat decide if she wants to be held and put her down when she asks. Set a rule that we never ever bother Kitty when she’s eating or sleeping.
Teach Empathy and Respect
Don’t let kids under 6 pick up the cat and walk around with him. Explain that most cats don’t enjoy being carried around and could scratch to get away. Teach them how to hold the cat supporting the cat’s rear. Encourage your kids to keep their face away from Kitty’s face.
Teach your cat to play with toys. Don’t play with Kitty with your hands or feet. Kids do it naturally, but they could get hurt in what is the natural play style for cats. Cats play rough with other cats, especially when they are kittens. They are not trying to hurt your child.
If you do get a kitten for your young child impress upon them that cats are not toys. Don’t treat them like a doll and force it wear doll clothes and push in a stroller. Some cats are okay with it, even enjoy the excitement and attention. If yours isn’t, then don’t push her.
Feeding Routines
Preschoolers can help with feeding the cat. Kids are notorious for overfeeding. You don’t want a fat feline because your child is over generous with food or treats. Teach them never, ever, to give Kitty something other than cat food or cat treats.
Parents need to supervise to make sure the kids practice proper hygiene. Even processed kibble has been recalled for risk of salmonella.
Preteens
The family cat is the responsibility of the adults. But kids over 10 can handle her care with supervision. Besides the food and water, older kids can do litter detail as long as they can follow proper hygiene.
Kids’ friends enter the picture more at this age. Make sure that your child’s friends understand how to handle cats or put the cat somewhere away from the kids. Teach them the cat language that says without doubt that Fluffy has had it. Make sure they know to shut the door if your cat is an inside only cat.
A Guide to Your New Kitten
Bringing home a new kitten is an exciting time for the family but an anxious one for the kitten. Kittens have needs that must be met to prevent stress, behavior problems, and health impacts. Download our guide to give your new furbaby the best life possible.
Positive Experiences Between Kids and Cats
When introducing kids and cats, you want positive experiences to establish the bond. Establish rituals like a special treat or special toys that only the kid will use. Positive experiences will get the cat to trust you and your child.
Your cat and your children can establish a special relationship with proper preparation and supervision.
You May Enjoy the Other Posts in this Series:
- Choosing Your New Kitten
- Kittenproofing 101
- Bringing Home Your New Kitten
- Introducing Your New Kitten
- Bond with Your New Kitten
- The Best Way to Introduce a Dog to a Cat
- Can Cats and Kids Live Together
Do you have a new kitten? Sign up here for an ebook on new kitten care and access to our resource library of guides and printables.
I don’t have kids of my own however this is a great post to refer to. Pets can help train kids about life lessons at an early age, like learning responsibility, respecting others space and having empathy for others. Well said.
Excellent post! I get so depressed and angry when adults don’t prepare the cats or the children to live together and the cat is usually the one who suffers.
Exactly
You had some great information! Actually, I just read something about having pets can boost your kids immune system – another plus. I believe kids need to learn to respect pets and your pets should always have an out – an escape route for when they’ve had too much.
It’s hard when you have a new baby, especially your first when you overreact and are fearful of so many things. Your article is full of great information and perfect for debunking myths!
Great post! I’m so glad you debunked that ridiculous myth about cats suffocating babies by “stealing their breath”! I’m also glad you talked about not having to give your precious cat away because you are expecting a baby. Many cats love children and they often become BFFs! I have found that cat teasers, the cat toys with a wand and feather end, are a great way for kids to play with cats & have fun together safely.
Love & Biscuits,
Dogs Luv Us and We Luv Them
I can imagine an accident if the kitty decided to sleep on top of the babies face for sure. I imagine with Cookie we’d have to be careful too because she likes to sit on everybody’s head. But wouldn’t get into a crib, though, so there is that.
I found it was easy enough to shut the kids rooms, the cats just didn’t go in there. When the kids were big enough to make a choice to open the door they were big enough to move on their own if the big furry critters laid in their bed.
I agree that the answer is YES! I had cats when I was a kid and they were my best friends!
Great tips. Preparation, training and management are all essential! I like how you broke it down for different age groups.
I’ve grown up with cats (and I’m allergic!) as my mother always loved them, as well as dogs. My daughter’s best friend’s son was born into a house of cats and they became fast friends with him, with lots of snuggling. I’ve heard many people say to keep cats away from kids. In my opinion and experience, the key is a) using common sense, and b) constant supervision with pets and young children, and setting good examples so children know how to treat animals. Also, properly training the pets, no matter which type. A child’s bond with a pet can be such a wonderful and lasting experience. This is a great post – and I just Pinned it over on my Mews News board for others to read, too!
Thanks!! I couldn’t agree more. Thanks for helping get the word out. Even just today I read a story in a group board of someone who gave their cat away because they have a toddler. It makes me sad.
The idea that some people believe that you can’t have kids and cats together totally throws me off. My parents had three cats when I was born. My first kitty Pumpkin was born in our backyard to a feral the day before my third birthday. He lived until I was 19. We also usually had about 4 large dogs too. I grew surrounded by animals and was taught how to act around them. Me and my cats were super close- even in my toddler years. My parents taught me to be gentle and to respect the cats. I also liked to share my food LOL. I have three dogs and two cats right now. I will probably have more than that by the time I have kids and my kids will be taught as I was to respect and love the animals.
We had multiple cats when my daughter was born, including one cat with some fear aggression issues. We made it work and all thrived both my daughter and the cats.
These are great tips to remember when introducing a cat to a family with young kids, or when you have a cat already and add a baby to the family. My 8 and 5 year old would be great with a cat, my 2 year old is learning about being gentle and I think she is starting to get a good grasp on the concept. We don’t currently have a cat but I have had cats my whole life while growing up. Would love to have another one again someday. 🙂
These are great tips that are applicable to dogs and kids too! I think the most important thing is to always supervise young kids and pets!
Fortunately, I don’t have kids so this was never an issue with me. But I grew up with the same cat from the time I was 5 until I was 22 and it changed my life. The doctor originally told my mother to ‘get rid of it’ but I’m very glad she didn’t. I was too attached by that point, fortunately.
I don’t see why you couldn’t have cats and kids living together. Having pets can help teach children so much about life and responsibility.
Fantastic post and yes I do believe kids can grow up with cats or any other pet if they are taught correctly and the parents keep a close watch in the beginning.
It’s all about the parents being willing to do the work to make it awesome instead of just giving up on the animal.
Of course, kids and cats can have great relationships! These are solid tips and good guidelines for parents of both 2-legged and 4-legged variety.
Great post! I can’t keep cats myself because my fiance is very allergic to them, but I always hate hearing about people getting rid of pets because they are having a baby. I believe that with proper introductions and management animals and children can live happily together in the same home.
Great article! Too often people do not want to take the time to integrate the new baby into the family or they allow the child to manhandle the cat and then blame the feline.
Wow, great in depth post that covers every possibility for cat owners and children. Lots of things to think about but importantly start to get your cat used to the change before it happens, don’t leave it to the last minute!
Great posts filled with wonderful tips!! I don’t see a reason why kids and cats can’t live together, in fact I think kids who grow up with animals are not only lucky, it teaches them respect for other living beings and compassion. Some planning and following your helpful advice and you’re good to go.
So many great tips for new parents! My cousin is 2 years old he gets along great with their family dog. The dog is extremely tolerant and I try to teach my cousin to be nice to the dog and respect his space. It’s working great so far. I am sure it would be the same with kitties.
Great post. Kids CAN get along with cats. It’s all in the education isn’t it?
At our local cat cafe there is a kitty called Mr Fox. His equanimity when dealing with small humans is totally astonishing to see. He is patient, and when tired of their ‘help’ he simply removes himself from their presence. No yowling, scratching or hissing. He is utterly amazing!
WELL DONE!
Mr. Fox sounds like a great cat. My Brad was like that, he was so placid. He loved the kids and when they got to much he’d go up on the top of a bookshelf and hang out where they couldn’t bug him.
Great post with a lot of good information! I had cats growing up, so it would never occur to me that cats and kids might be problematic for some. I think the points about teaching respect, in an age-appropriate way, are really key to a happy cat/kid household.
Great post. Cats can teach kids so much. I am so glad my great niece has 2 and her parents have taught her to be gentle.
Wonderful post ! Purrs
Such a wonderful article and I do hope it helps clear up any misunderstanding for those it doubt, cats rock!
There are some very helpful tips here. Big hugs
Luv ya’
Dezi and Raena